Category Archives: Breastfeeding

Until Next Year…

(Image from https://www.facebook.com/MochaManual)

August has been Breastfeeding Awareness Month in the United States for several years now.  It kicks off with World Breastfeeding Awareness Month on August 1-7th.  This year, a group of concerned lactivists proposed a Black Breastfeeding Week to close out the month.  It has been met with unexpected and vehement opposition.

I would expect anyone who reads about pregnancy, birth and breastfeeding to understand why this is necessary.  Our black citizens have more incidence of lower birth weight and prematurity than other ethnic groups.  The black community has higher prenatal and maternal mortality rates than any other segment of the population.  And, they have lower rates of breastfeeding than any other ethnic groups.  This is not race mongering.  These are cold, hard and pathetic statistics in a day and age when we are supposedly “enlightened”.

We can all agree that breastfeeding offers the best start in life.  Our human milk is made just for our human babies, and it evolves to meet their needs as they grow into toddlerhood.  If there is a group that needs to hear this message loud and clear, then absolutely, dedicate a week out of the month to raise awareness.  End of story.  Start of advocacy.

Instead of arguing whether or not this is necessary, jump in and ask, how can we help?  I don’t care what race, color, creed or orientation, if you say your group needs help with increasing the number of Motherbabys choosing to breastfeed, and then going on to have successful breastfeeding relationships, then help is what they should get.  End of story.  Start of advocacy.

Breastfeeding is not an exclusive club.  The whole point of Breastfeeding Awareness Month is to educate people *everywhere* about the benefits, the struggles, the need for support, and the myriad of options (besides formula) that are available to families who want to feed their babies human milk.  When a group acknowledges that their is a disparity in breastfeeding rates and wants to do something about it, then by all means, give them the time and attention they are asking for.  Breastmilk is free, local and sustainable…what do we lose by ensuring that all mamas have equal access to correct, accurate and inspiring information and support?

We have enjoyed sharing our breastfeeding anecdotes, reflections on our journey as breastfeeding mamas, and pictures of breastfeeding and the lifestyle choices that support breastfeeding with you this month.  Did you see any black MotherBabys?  Me neither.

You can count on this: next year, we will be helping our sisters who want to see all the benefits of breastfeeding to improve outcomes and quality of life for the MotherBabys in the black community.

Now that I am ready to jump off my soapbox, please share with us.  Did you learn anything new this month?  Were you inspired by a mama in your community?  Please let us know – we love reading about your breastfeeding milestones.

Thoughtful Thursday: On Weaning

What are we going to talk about today?  Weaning!

But it’s Breastfeeding Awareness Month – how does weaning fit?

A couple of ways…BAW is wrapping up, so it’s time to “wean” ourselves off of this topic.  (I couldn’t resist…sorry!!)  Secondly, it fits into Breastfeeding Awareness Month because weaning is part of the breastfeeding journey.  Have you thought about what you are going to give your baby after (s)he is no longer nursing?

Weaning is thought of as the “end” of the breastfeeding relationship.  As stated on the Baby-Led Weaning website, the reality is that the moment we introduce solids, we have started weaning.

How many other mammals continue to drink milk after they are weaned?  Think about that.  We are the only creatures that have figured out how to express milk from a maternal or non-maternal source to continue milk-feeding.  I believe we are the only ones to have found a way for milk to be consumed from something other than directly from a nipple attached to milk ducts.

While this helps make the case for extended breastfeeding (if you want to give them milk, it may as well be your own), it really is something to think about when you consider the age your child stops breastfeeding.  Think about this: milk from other animals is not made to help our human children develop – it’s made to be specific for their species.  Have you ever considered that this may be the reason so many of us are considered “lactose intolerant”?

If weaning happens when your child is under a year of age, you may very well want to supplement with formula.  We do know that scientists are doing the best they can to mimic human milk with that product.  If you are weaning a toddler, you may want to consider just going straight to water and skip alternative milk altogether.

Does your child need to drink milk after they wean?  We are conditioned to believe in the nutritional benefits of milk – how else will they get calcium?!?  I will admit, it’s hard to overcome our indoctrination.  Here is a list of Top 10 Highest-Calcium food sources.  Milk is third on the list.

http://www.healthaliciousness.com/articles/foods-high-in-calcium.php

Do you have time to read one more?  HERE is an article that talks about the benefits of probiotics.  While our family does not buy cow’s milk anymore, we are big consumers of yogurt products.  I read this article and it gave me peace of mind that we are making the right choice in that aspect:

“Babies whose mothers take probiotics while pregnant and those who are given the so-called “good bacteria” supplements early in life may be at lower risk for allergies but not asthma than other kids.”

This is the choice that worked for our family:  We drink water…a lot of it.  We drink it straight, we flavor the water with fruit and herbs overnight, or sometimes we make fruit-based teas.  If we drink juice, it’s homemade.  I juice fruit for the kiddos before I juice for myself in the morning.  I simply cannot justify store-bought juice anymore.  We will only buy Honest-Tea juice for a party – special occasions merit a little fun and which kid doesn’t like a “juice box”?

So anyway, I will close with this thought: Cassandra and I have really enjoyed sharing Breastfeeding Awareness Month with you.  We wish you all continued peace and joy as you and your nursling continue to do the breastfeeding dance.  Lead, follow, and when it’s time to exit the floor, may you do so with wonderful memories and the knowledge that whether it was for three minutes, three days, three months, or three years, you did something amazing.

Extended Breastfeeding

Your baby is already past their first birthday…and the questions from “well-meaning” family and friends have started…

I needed this reminder today…Otter is almost 23 months old…and still nursing, and still very much wanting to nurse as needed…which means out of the home. I am guessing that I am going to grow again. I took heart from THIS article by Dr. Sears and I hope you will, too.

Quick quote from today’s link:
“Science is on your side. I have read many medical journals with articles proving the long-term health benefits of breastfeeding. The incidence of many illnesses, both childhood and adult, are lowered by breastfeeding  — diabetes, heart disease, and central nervous system degenerative disorders (such as multiple sclerosis) to name a few. The most fascinating studies show that the longer and more frequently a mom nurses her baby, the smarter her child is likely to become. The brain grows more during the first two years of life than any other time, nearly tripling in size from birth to two years of age. It’s clearly a crucial time for brain development, and the intellectual advantage breastfed babies enjoy is attributed to the “smart fats” unique to mom’s breast milk (namely, omega-3 fatty acid, also known as DHA). From head to toe, babies who breastfeed for extended periods of time are healthier overall. They tend to have leaner bodies with less risk of obesity. They also have improved vision, since the eye is similar to the brain in regards to nervous tissue. They have better hearing due to a lower incidence of ear infections. Their dental health is generally good, since the natural sucking action of the breastfed infant helps incoming teeth align properly. Intestinal health is also much better than those of non-breastfed babies, as breast milk is easier to digest, reducing spit-up, reflux, and constipation. A toddler’s immune system functions much better since breastmilk contains an immunoglobulin (IGA) which coats the lining of the intestines, which helps prevent germs from penetrating through. Even the skin of these babies is smoother and more supple.”

Need more reasons to stand firm in your decision to continue breastfeeding past your child’s first birthday?  Read the whole article from Dr. Sears HERE

My take on toddler nursing – for today

Toddler nursing…anyone who nurses a toddler has stories.  The crazy positions.  The angry demands.  The moments of stillness.  The immunity boosts.  The crazy positions.  The nipple twiddling!

Twiddling!! Enough to drive a saint crazy!!

Twiddling!! Enough to drive a saint crazy!!

Why do we do it?  Personally, as we have added children, breastfeeding gives the nursling(s) and I a moment to connect.  While I have to think about one-on-one time and plan for it with the older children, the time to breastfeed is spontaneous and it happens without much thought.  It allows me a minute to breathe in the midst of a busy day, and to just hold and enjoy our child.

Here is a sample of what happened within a three-minute span this morning…

Traditional cradle...all is well...

Traditional cradle…all is well…

Wait a minute...let me see what it tastes like on this side...oh, it's the same...

Wait a minute…let me see what it tastes like on this side…oh, it’s the same…

...might as well pause for a picture then...

…might as well pause for a picture then…

Start over on this side...

Start over on this side…

Wait a minute...let me see what it tastes like on this side...oh, it's the same...

Wait a minute…let me see what it tastes like on this side…oh, it’s the same…

What if I sit on the table...can I nurse in this position?? (She was actually nursing a second before I snapped this picture)

What if I sit on the table…can I nurse in this position?? (She was actually nursing a second before I snapped this picture)

…and then she jumped off my lap and was into the next adventure of the day.

Although Otter is a very good eater, I will continue to nurse her until she is ready to stop nursing.  I know she continues to receive immunities – the female body actually makes more for toddlers than it does for infants.  There are days when all she wants to do is nurse: teething, growth spurt, upset tummy…my milk gives her some nutrition on those days.  And there is my favorite reason: connection and comfort.  I love looking down at her sweet face, knowing that for today, I am liquid love.  This is why I put up with the craziness:

This face! Those eyes!!

This face! Those eyes!!

and this…

...this is MotherBaby love...

…this is MotherBaby love…

As she nears her second birthday, I am making peace with the fact that my days as a breastfeeding mom are numbered.  Maybe she will nurse as long as Charger has, maybe not.  I am trying not to have expectations.

Here is where I have arrived: When she no longer wants breastmilk, I want to remember that she is not rejecting me and that it is not about me.  Because for me, it is the end of a book, one that I treasure, one that I could probably read forever, although it ended up being much longer than I expected.  To her, it will simply be the day when she is ready to move on to the next chapter.

P.S.  If you need “real” reasons to tell your family about the benefits of toddler nursing…check out THIS page from KellyMom or check out THIS infographic from the Alpha Parent

Little boy (2-3) with bare chest, arms up, portrait

What drives you crazy about toddler nursing?  Why do you nurse your toddler?

Tuesday Tip: Traveling with your nursling

As we prepare to take one more trip before we settle back into our homeschool year, I thought I would share some of the things we do to prepare to travel with our children, specifically our youngest.  One of the greatest conveniences of breastfeeding is that your milk is always available, in the right quantity and at the right temperature.  We have enjoyed being very mobile with our little ones.

Here are some things we have learned along the way:

If your nursling was into a rhythm, prepare it to change.  Whether you are changing time zones, or changing the people coming into your circle, or maybe it’s simply a change in the place where you are sleeping, nurslings are usually a little thrown off from their patterns.  Having specific routines in place may help ease their transition through your trip.  Wherever a routine fits into your schedule, keep it: morning routine, nap routine, bedtime routine.  Usually a family has a consistent way of doing things somewhere in their day if they think about it.  Figure out where yours is and keep it consistent when you are away from home.  Keeping it consistent may ease your baby back into their other patterns once they settle in.

Also prepare yourself to be flexible: you may not be able to get back to your sleep space right on time for your nursling’s nap.  Can baby sleep in the car as you drive, sleep in a carrier, sleep in a stroller?  Have a back-up plan just in case so that you can enjoy your trip and the new sights without being tied to your nursling’s schedule which they may not be keeping anyway.

Your nursling may want to nurse more.  This goes back to your baby’s rhythm.  Even the slightest change in their day may send your baby back to the breast more often at home.  Their need to comfort nurse may be heightened in your new surroundings.  Knowing this, plan ahead if you think frequent nursing is going to be uncomfortable in your vacation/trip space.  Call your hosts ahead of time and feel out their comfort level with breastfeeding (if they are not, ask them to think about where you can nurse when you are visiting them), search out family-friendly venues, plan your wardrobe according to ease of nursing.  You can mix fashion and functionality…in fact, one of my favorite lines is Momzelle, which happens to be on sale today!

Your nursling may be happier next to you.  Keeping your baby “on” you may not be feasible through your whole trip.  However, if you are comfortable babywearing or have time to get used to it before your trip, that close proximity has been another way we have found to ease our nurslings anxiety when we travel.

Bring some of your favorite foods with you.  If your nursling has already started solids, bring some of their favorite snack foods with you.  We usually bring along enough for a couple of days of snacking.  With the ease of the internet, you may be able to find a store that sells your nurslings favorite foods at your destination.  Also remember that “food before one is just for fun”.  Friends or family that you are visiting may fret that your baby isn’t eating enough…rest assured that your breastmilk makes all the nutrients your baby needs and they will be getting enough to thrive up until around their first birthday (more HERE).

When you relax and have fun, your nursling will to.  Our nurslings are little energy readers – are yours?  They know when we are feeling off, and likewise when we are at ease.  Do you know how to operate at your best “frequency”?  Make sure that you take care of yourself so that you can be at your best when you are on your trip.

What tips would you share with a family traveling with a nursling?

Did you see last week’s tips on handling breastfeeding when you travel in regards to nursing in public and breastfeeding laws?  You may want to check that out if you are traveling out of state.  Personally, I will be refreshing myself on CA laws this week 🙂

Explaining Breastfeeding to Children

As we continue with Breastfeeding Awareness Month posts, it made sense to write about children and breastfeeding on our family blog.  Pictured above is an image from the Alpha Parent’s blog listing children’s book that show and/or talk about breastfeeding.  I think that picture pretty much sums up how older siblings feel about new babies and nursing!

So, continuing on with yesterday’s Thoughtful Thursday topic,  “Normalize Breastfeeding” over at Sweet Pea Births, how do you explain breastfeeding to children?  Here are the things that worked for us.

Siblings:
If you breastfed your older child(ren), it is helpful to share pictures of you breastfeeding them.  It is natural for children to feel jealous of all the time the new baby will be spending with Mommy.  Showing them how they were fed and close to you until they became more independent may help.

Side note:  My friend Rachel Davis made a photo book for her children showing their progression through pregnancy, labor, birth and their first year.  Depending on how old they are, it may help the older sibling understand that the newborn phase is not forever and that soon, they will not feel like all your time is consumed by the baby.  She does caution to be mindful of which pictures you put in there…your child will be proud of this book and show it to anyone and everyone that will read it with them.

We have also taken the time to point out all the things we will still be able to do with them while nursing the younger sibling(s):

      • we can snuggle together and read a book
      • we can sit on the floor and do a puzzle
      • we can sit next to each other and play quietly or color
      • they can let the baby fall asleep so we can get our own together time without the baby

We have found that including them in the nursing sessions helps them feel like they are still part of the “inner circle”.  We try to be mindful that although they may have weaned, they still crave our time and our touch.

I also take the time to show them the mechanics of nursing.  How does the baby latch?  How can we tell if the baby is actually feeding for nutrition, or might they be comfort nursing?  Does it hurt?  I want them to not just accept it, but to learn about how to nurse.  If they have more questions, we talk about them.

Talking to children outside your family:
I have nursed our children wherever and whenever they have been hungry.  Sometimes that is at a family gathering, at a playdate, at a park.  When I nursed with a nursing cover, children would be curious and want to know what was going on under the cover.  I would ask the parents permission first, and if it was okay with them, I’d let them look under the cover to see the baby nurse.  If parents were not okay with it, they would simply tell their children that it was not okay and to leave us alone.

Either way, I would take a second to tell the children that I was feeding our baby my milk. I made sure to say it was one of the ways to feed children, being mindful that maybe they were fed differently.  Again, if they had more questions, I would answer them.  Some questions I got:

  • How long did the baby eat?
  • When would they start eating food?
  • Did I ever give them a bottle?

Now that I nurse with a loose blouse instead of a cover, the nursing is not under or hidden.  Curiously, I get less questions about breastfeeding – isn’t that interesting?  Nothing to hide, nothing to explain.

Have you talked to children within or outside your immediate family about breastfeeding?  What did you share with them?

Want to read more about normalizing breastfeeding with the younger generation?  Try THIS piece about breastfeeding on a children’s program, published January 2012.

Thoughtful Thursday: Accepting the Present

T & I attended our local La Leche League meeting last night and had a great time, as always. It left me with a lot of thoughts bouncing around in my head, which I thought I would share with you all for Thoughtful Thursday!

The topic was weaning + nutrition, which ironically enough was what I had a million questions about at last month’s meeting. One of the great leaders directed me to this wonderful book then, which I immediately checked out from their lending library and had the entire month to read, ponder, and realize what is right for our family.

One of the other mamas there was extremely frustrated with night nursing and her 15 month old, and was sharing how she was determined to night wean ASAP.  She was tired, needs to be up early for work often and just needed something to change big time. My heart went out to her, that is usually me, with my ongoing struggles of breastfeeding / being a mama in general.

I felt different this month though; lately I have been trying to accept the present for what it is, just the present. Not a product of what we have done in the past or a foreshadowing of what things will be like in the future, just what it is, today. When I start thinking that by nursing all day and all night and sharing a bed with T since birth it has made him a light/difficult sleeper, or that by nursing so frequently at 17 months I am hindering T’s socializing, or that if I am still nursing on demand now T may not wean until 4 or 5 years old, I can start to drive myself CRAZY.

Nursing is so controversial; there is so much information, so many opinions, and even more so when it comes to nursing + sleep or nursing + toddlers. Maybe that is why I am always struggling, always analyzing our breastfeeding relationship to try and change behaviors?

Breastfeeding is without a doubt a lifestyle choice; just like choosing to be a responsive or positive or empathetic or attachment parent. It takes work, dedication, sacrifice, and it will not always be easy. But it is a tool, a tool to provide nourishment and comfort. Sometimes T needs a hug in the middle of his play, sometimes he just wants to be picked up, sometimes he wants to read books, and sometimes he wants to nurse. I don’t question when he will stop “needing” hugs from me, and I am no longer questioning when he will stop needing to nurse. I do not always want to read “Oh The Thinks You Can Think” or “Put Me In The Zoo” or “If You Give A Moose A Muffin” 27 times in a row, but if I can, I do, and that is the same way I have been thinking about breastfeeding. If I can, I do.  If we need to make a change, we do, until we are in a better place. If we have a bad night, we stick close to home the next day and just take it easy, and try again the next night. If T needs to nurse 12 times throughout the night, he must be going through something. If he is nursing 12 times every night for quite awhile, then it must be something that nursing isn’t solving, so we will try some other things.

Everything changes so quickly with small children I have realized, and although this would have seemed crazy and overwhelming to me when I had an infant, up until even a few months ago, the present is all I ever needed to be concerned with. T will need things today that he may not have needed yesterday and may not need tomorrow. I am here to meet those needs as best I can, breastfeeding is just one of many tools I have to do so.

taking a break in the forest for some milk (:

taking a break in the forest for some milk (:

Focusing on the present day and the dynamics and workings of my & T’s relationship right now has made a world of difference in my outstanding questions, worries, and frustrations surrounding breastfeeding. It definitely lends itself well to other parenting challenges too and I hope to be able to keep these thoughts and “accepting the present” mantra handy for all kinds of situations.

Did anyone else struggle with breastfeeding “decisions”? When to wean, night wean, stop nursing on demand, etc? Do people ever tell you your son or daughter’s sleep/social/eating habits are because of breastfeeding or extended breastfeeding? We would love to hear your thoughts and stories!

 

#WW: CoSleeping

In honor of Breastfeeding Awareness Month, this Wordless Wednesday we are featuring co-sleeping.  Co-sleeping is one of the ways MotherBabys can learn to read each other, maintain more skin-to-skin, and keep the milk supply up.  There is the added benefit of natural family planning if your nursling is feeding at least every four hours – much easier to do if MotherBaby are in close proximity.

On another note, both Cassandra and I realized how few pictures there are of us sleeping with our babies!! I guess we are both the photographers and we forget to ask to be the subjects 🙂

Last thought to share:  Since this is our “family” blog, I wanted to share pictures of how our sleeping arrangements looks now that our nurslings are growing up.  There is nothing like the bond that happens thanks to proximity.  It’s hard to believe these sleeping angels can be raucous siblings during the day when you see them so peacefully together at night.

Okay, not so “wordless” today…hope you like to seeing how our family grows!

BLOG SPF ww cosleep1BLOG SPF ww cosleep2 BLOG SPF ww cosleep3 BLOG SPF ww cosleep5 BLOG SPF ww cosleep6 BLOG SPF ww cosleep7 BLOG SPF ww cosleep8 BLOG SPF ww cosleep9 BLOG SPF ww cosleep10 BLOG SPF ww cosleep11 BLOG SPF ww cosleep12

Here is a tongue-in-cheek post about co-sleeping that made me laugh today…if you are a co-sleeping family, you might enjoy it, too:  10 Things Never To Say To A Co-Sleeping Parent

To see what co-sleeping looks like with newborns, click on today’s post over at Sweet Pea Births

Tuesday Tip: Breastfeeding On The Road

Are you getting ready to travel?  If you follow breastfeeding advocacy in the news, you have probably already seen THIS VIDEO and read the story about the mother in Texas who was harassed at a public property over the weekend.

You have the right to breastfeed wherever you are lawfully present without prejudice.  In most states, you are not subject to indecent exposure even if you choose to nurse in such a way that exposes breast tissue or your nipple.

HERE is a link to see the state laws across the fifty states.  Do a quick search if you are going to be traveling outside of your home area so that you are knowledgable about the law where you will be spending time.

Should you be approached by someone asking you to move, cover up, or stop breastfeeding, you are within all of your rights to decline.  Do not be shamed or bullied into doing anything besides continuing to feed your child.

Some ideas to handle the situation:
State and federal laws recognize that I am simply feeding my child, and our right to do so is protected by law…
…Would you (or the patron) be more comfortable if you were relocated?
…I am not doing this to cause a problem.  How can we resolve this without me having to (move)(cover up)(etc.)?
…I would be happy to have you call the police so that they can enforce our rights to be here.

Obviously, there are many variations to this scenario, and what you say depends on your confidence level.  So, please speak up if you are harassed.  You can also take it to the next level by filing a police report or at the very least, by calling this hotline:  1-855-NIP-FREE

Have you been asked to stop nursing in public?  How did you handle it?  Or if you are like me, which one-liner did you come up with after the fact?