Category Archives: About Us

Ten Things You Don’t Know About Me…

This is one of “the games” on Facebook right now.  Since this is a sharing kind of place, and I am not “friends” with all our readers, here is what is on my mind today:

Here are 10 random things about me:

1. My earliest memories are of living in Italy. We lived there when I was 3-4.5 years old. Some of the ones that stand out: hiding from the doctor who gave me my shots, sitting next to my mom in bed when she was nursing my sister, and walking down the lane to get food from a neighboring farmer. I also remember going to a bakery for *the best* focaccia bread ever.

2. When I was little, I wanted to be a ballerina and a teacher. Although I never became a ballerina, I did pretty well as a professional ballroom dancer and in the dance “business” end, and I am teaching almost every day.  I have taught ballroom dance, dance studio staff, and business managers.  Now I teach pregnant couples and our children.

3. When I was 20, I was diagnosed with Hashimoto’s disease, a type of hypothyroidism. I was told at the time that I would probably never have children.

4. When we married, our priest said a blessing over us as part of our marriage ceremony (in Central Park, NYC!). I felt the biblical “opening of the womb”, and clearly, we have had little problems conceiving. So blessed to have carried four children to term.

5. I have a running list of questions that I would like to ask God when I cross over. If not with Him directly, I hope we all get a personal conference with someone who has a direct line to all the answers. Do you think they have a Dewey decimal system, or Wikipedia, in heaven?  Also on my crossover wish list: I am looking forward to meeting angel children that were carried and never born on earth.

6. Among “best” decisions I’ve made in my life was to join a sorority.  I am in Delta Phi Epsilon, and the women I have met and still keep in touch with are amazing, lovely, inspiring, and encourage me to be better every day.  I wish we were closer, and on my bin list is to start an alumni chapter in my area.

7. If I could do anything in the world and know I would succeed, I would like to climb Mount Everest. In reality, I hate the cold weather and I will never aspire to that, although I would like to visit Nepal someday.

8. I wish I/we had the means to give every child in need, the education they need to follow their dreams.

9. Much to Puma’s embarrassment, stories that inspire me by their great lesson, valor or sacrifice make me cry. I cry more often than I care to admit when we are reading out loud. Thank goodness that there are as many humorous stories as there are inspiring stories.

10. I still get stage fright. Before every first class of the Bradley series, my body and my mind are not friends, and I can’t eat all day long. After that first class is over, I am ravenous and excited and can’t believe that I made a big deal about it…until the next series is about to begin.

Things that I hope you all know about me: I feel blessed to have married the most perfect man for me, we love our children, and we live to make a difference. It is my/our hope that we leave a legacy for our children, and that “the dash” is a worthy one.

40thwithmylove

 

Please “play” here if you are so inclined…leave me a comment with some random facts about you – you pick the number 🙂  I would love to learn more about you!!

Tuesday Tips: An Au Natural Holiday

No, we are not running around the house naked – although I admit, you will see an occasional  naked baby bottom streaking through the house!  The title refers to today’s blog post, written as part of the Carnival of Natural Mothering 🙂



Welcome to the November 2013 Carnival of Natural Mothering!

This article is a part of the Carnival of Natural Mothering hosted by GrowingSlower, Every Breath I Take, I Thought I Knew Mama, African Babies Don’t Cry, and Adventures of Captain Destructo. This month’s topic is Incorporating Natural Into the Holidays. Be sure to check out all of the participants’ posts through the links at the bottom of this page.

November 5, 2013: Incorporating Natural Into the Holidays
As we approach the holiday season, it is easy to get swept up in preparations and anticipation. How do you bring your natural lifestyle into the holidays with you? Whether it’s eco-friendly party prep, special treats that are also healthy, traditions that involve aspects of nature, or the natural techniques you use to stay calm and focused during the busy months ahead, we would love to read your stories and suggestions that focus on all that relates to a natural lifestyle during the hustle and bustle of the holidays.

Ahh – the holidays.  I am fascinated that the season of celebrating “holy days” is also the time when we can get the most frazzled, the most frustrated, and the most hurried.  It is pretty much exactly the opposite of keeping things sacred and holy!

The most important thing I try to remember is the “reason for the season”.  Is it really important to have the best looking and tasting food, the prettiest house, the most presents; if along the way you have forgotten to be kind to others, most importantly, your children?  For a lot of us, striving for perfection layers on added stress, guilt and pressure.  By extension, we lash out at the little people who are still needing our attention outside of our huge lists of things we need to do to: shopping, cleaning, preparing, hosting…those lists go on and on and on.

There are several things I have learned along the way that help me to be more intentional and peaceful during the season of hustle and bustle.

1. Breathe.  That simple act can make a simple and profound difference.  Before I don my cape, I aim to take five deep breaths as I start the day, reflecting on the intention of that day.  I no longer carve out time for a full yoga practice in the morning…now I simply use the deep breathing techniques I learned, and I review my mantras.  I want to be sure that Peaceful Mama shows up for my kids this day, not the Crazy Mama who yells her way across the day.

2. Flower Essences.  I can’t say enough about these amazing Lotus Wei elixirs.  We discovered them a few years ago and we will be forever customers.  I keep them next to our bathroom sink so that I can breathe in peace, love and joy every time I wash my hands.  A.Ma.Zing.BLOG lotus photo

3. Simplify.  I read an article this summer that talked about what kiddos remember the most about summer vacation: ice cream and the beach.  What?! That’s easy!  It’s so easy to discount the simple things while we focus on “going” and “doing”.

I think this concept of simplicity is perfect to apply to the holiday season as well.  Sit down with your partner and identify what it is you want your children to remember about the holidays.  Better yet, ask them what their favorite part of the season is, and see if you can incorporate it as often as possible into your days.

Things to consider if you want to simplify your list – how many events will you attend in a weekend?  How can you plan your days so that you do things with your children, instead of for your children?  Do you have family traditions you want them to learn, and if so, how do they become a part of them instead of having them done to them?

4.  Let Go.  Things are transient…I don’t know if our children will remember how perfect I made things. I know they remember that I was frazzled and stressed through the holidays.  Instead of trying to do it all, we pinpoint and do the meaningful things that grow us as a person and as a family.

5. Have Fun.  When I listen to our children, it seems to me that we have forgotten one important aspect of childhood:  they are in it for the fun.  Nothing gives me greater joy than hearing their laughter, or hearing their excitement at all the beauty of the holiday season.  So while we write our lists, do our shopping, make our meals, I try to be mindful that all they want to do is have a good day.  In my mind, a “good day” means feeling loved, sharing a laugh, and having fun.  I would rather not get it all done, and instead put “doing” off for another day so we all enjoy the “living”.

So what does that look like in action?

The breathing and the flower essences mean that I turn down my volume.  When I get stressed, I get loud, and that only serves to scare our children.  That is definitely not what I want them to remember about the holiday season!!  Being mindful of my intention to “make memories” instead of “doing things” helps me to focus on the big picture of wanting the holidays to be full of peace and joy.  To me, this mindset is more in-line with the promise and the hope that was delivered in the manger in Bethlehem.

It also means we take time to read holiday stories, sing holiday songs, and make holiday cookies.  We choose to spend time with our children, each other as partners, and our family.  I think when most of us look back, what stands out is the time with our loved ones, not the gifts they gave us, or the meals that they cooked.  We strive to make the prep time as important as the actual event we are preparing for.

For us, this meant letting go of hosting two holiday parties every season.  We cut our guest list to make the one event we do host more meaningful.  Instead of staying up all night on Thanksgiving night, we hire someone to do our decorating now, and it gets done over a 3-4 day period.  That lets me sleep, which is a much better choice in the long run.  If we couldn’t afford to hire someone, we would do less.  We made that choice with our outside decorating – now we do our own lights, again over more time and with a less ambitious approach.  Less is more, right?  And, it is so fun to have our kiddos showcase “their” section of the yard they decorated.

As they get older, we invite the children to help inside the house as well, and they take ownership of that holiday tradition with pride.  We use artificial trees, which saves a tree.  We use them until they are “Charlie Brown” style to be mindful of the environmental cost of production.  Again, we are not striving for perfection.  To them, it is all wonderful and beautiful.  Letting them place ornaments and other decor where they can see them and enjoy them has become more important than having the perfect show house.

Another “natural” choice we make is to give edible gifts.  Again, the goal is to reduce “stuff”.  Here is a gift everyone enjoys, and food can be wrapped creatively without adding to the mounds of packaging that will be thrown out or recycled.  If we don’t make the treats ourselves, we shop local at a farmer’s market for yummy treats to give to teachers, friends, family, or as hostess gifts.

We also go “au natural” through the holidays by giving back.  Although we all enjoy giving gifts, we also incorporate a charity into every season.  This was a tradition started by our families that we are passing on to our children.  We read through the holiday gift catalog from organizations like Heifer International or World Vision.  We read about parts of the world where people do not live like we do, and the kiddos choose gifts from those catalogs to give to their grandparents, who are in a phase of life where they are paring down.  I think we will start doing this for them to choose gifts for each other as well – we are all toyed out over here!

How do you incorporate natural living into your family’s holiday season?

Bloggers, visit GrowingSlower to sign up to be a part of next month’s carnival.

Remembrance Day

It seems trite to name today a “tip” day, although I have included links for more information at the end of today’s post.

October 15th is recognized as the day when those of us who have lost children in pregnancy and infancy honor their memory.  It is a day to acknowledge their presence in our lives.  Even if we never got to hold them, their passage through our lives leaves us changed forever.

We hardly ever talk about it – especially as Bradley teachers, the last thing want to do is freak our students out with stories of miscarriage.  Since it is part of our family story, I record it here for our children to read when they are ready.

I bought hardly anything with our first pregnancy because I bled the whole time.  I dreaded our baby showers.  I was constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop.  When we did have a healthy baby at the end of months of “pelvic rest” and bed rest, and I resolved to enjoy my next pregnancy.

We found out we were pregnant a few days before we left on a vacation.  I had originally noticed that Puma (then 18 months) wasn’t very interested in nursing – she said my milk tasted salty.  Then I took a pregnancy test – positive!  We were so excited, we called my mom and my sister right away.  We called the doctor to find out if it was safe to travel – they gave us the all clear, and we set a “pregnancy confirmation” appointment upon our return from vacation.

So off we went on our plane trip.  About three days in, I started bleeding.  Not just brown discharge – red bleeding with cramping.  We called our doctor again – they said there was nothing to do.  If it was heavy, they suggested we go to an E/R to make sure we didn’t need a D&C.  It wasn’t too much more than a menses, and it stopped over the next couple of days…it was clear what had happened.  The confirmation came when Puma resumed breastfeeding on her normal schedule because my milk tasted good to her again.

My heart broke!  I had taken a risk and bought a little outfit for the baby at our destination (which is still set aside; I never had the heart to put it on our other children).  I had signed and mailed a postcard with the name “Baby Bowman”.  I had loved this baby already and had let myself get excited.  There are no words that can capture the emotions I felt over the next few weeks.

The passage of time has helped.  I still wonder what that baby would have been like if it had been healthy and made it to term.  It would have been a Spring baby – the one season we are missing in our family birthday calendar.

Seven years later, I can say I have gratitude for the experience.  I am so grateful it was a first trimester loss.  Since then, we have had friends experience loss after they were showing their pregnancy; after they had felt their baby’s movements.  As a birth-worker, there are friends of mine have held sacred spaces with families who lost babies during childbirth.  Given the grief I felt when our early-term pregnancy ended, that kind of loss is unimaginable to me. When I was pregnant with Otter, I heard three birth stories that ended with loss…our experience leaves me grateful that we were spared the pain these families felt, and may still feel very keenly.

The hardest thing for me, with any loss, is that life goes on.  Inside, I feel torn up – I want to scream with the grief, and about injustice that has been done.  Yet the world does not know that there is a hole in my heart, a void in the pit of my body, an emptiness that is so overwhelming that all I want to do is roll up in a ball and just be away, curled up in the dark.  It expects me to be sane, normal, kind and reasonable.  My children expect to see their mommy just as she has always been.

If nothing else, our experiences with loss, miscarriage and otherwise, have vividly illustrated the platitude that says we should be kind to one another since we cannot know what kind of baggage other people are carrying.  They are not just pretty words anymore.  That person who doesn’t return your smile – who doesn’t coo at your sweet baby – who can’t be bothered to hold the door – who doesn’t realize they just cut you off.  Give them space, whether you think they deserve it or not.  If they are being jerks, that is their Karma.  If they are truly in pain over a loss they have experienced, your kindness is a ripple of love that may reach them subconsciously – just a little more love to fill their “love tank” in a world where they feel a huge void of love.

I wish all of you that have experienced miscarriage, pregnancy loss, or infant loss much peace today.  I pray that your spirit will be filled with a “peace that surpasses all understanding”. (Phil 4:7)

While I believe that we are on this Earth to make a difference, and I want to live every day to the fullest, I am not going to lie.  I am also biding my time and waiting for the day when I get to meet all these beautiful heavenly children that we never got to meet here on earth.

While there is no day to remember all those children lost to abortion, I love this image and wanted to share it today, too. Click on picture for link to the story about the artist and her vision.

While I do not know of a day to remember all those children lost to abortion, I love this image and wanted to share it today, too. Click on picture for link to the story about the artist and her vision. *This is not a political statement* Simply a recognition that some of those mothers feel loss, too.

Do you want to support someone who has experienced a loss?  Here are some places to start reading about grief support?

Bereavement and Support Website for Care Providers and Families
http://www.babylosscomfort.com/
“Women who have suffered the loss of a baby are postpartum mothers too. Miscarriage, stillbirth, and neonatal death leave women requiring not just emotional but also physical support.”  This site offers words to share and comfort, healing gifts, and links to more resources.

Owl Love You Forever
http://owlloveyouforever.com/
Our hope is to create a memorable and positive hospital experience for families that lose their baby before, during, or shortly after giving birth.  We provide boxes with meaningful items for the families, including specially designed blanket sets and a soft stuffed owl.  Help us fill these grieving mom’s arms by donating online today.

Have you experienced pregnancy loss?  Here are some resources that our students have found helpful:

Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep 
http://www.nowilaymedowntosleep.org/ 
They offer the free gift of professional portraiture and remembrance photography to parents suffering the loss of a baby.  “The NILMDTS Foundation is there for parents and families to help aid them in their Healing, bring Hope to their future, and Honor their child.  It is through Remembrance that a family can truly begin to heal.”  They feel that these images serve as an important step in the family’s healing process by honoring their child’s legacy.

Arizona Perinatal Loss Bereavement Resource, Banner Desert Medical Center
1400 S. Dobson Road, Mesa, 85202
480-512-3595
Provides a network of support for those experiencing a pregnancy or infant loss. This resource gives parents a statewide network of support, current bereavement literature on a variety of topics, educational opportunities and resources in the community, state and national level.

The Compassionate Friends
http://www.compassionatefriends.org/home.aspx
The Compassionate Friends is to assist families toward the positive resolution of grief following the death of a child at any age and to provide information to help others be supportive.   They offer a safe place for bereaved parents, grandparents, and siblings to meet and talk freely about your child and your grief issues.

M.I.S.S. Foundation
www.missfoundation.org
The M.I.S.S. Foundation provides immediate and ongoing support to grieving families through community volunteerism opportunities, public polic y and legislative education and programs to reduce infant and toddler death through research and education.

M.E.N.D. Mother’s Enduring Neonatal Death
http://www.mend.org/ 
M.E.N.D. (Mommies Enduring Neonatal Death) is a Christian, non-profit organization that reaches out to families who have suffered the loss of a baby through miscarriage, stillbirth, or early infant death.

HAND Helping After Neonatal Death
http://www.handonline.org/ 
HAND is a resource network of parents, professionals, and supportive volunteers that offers a variety of services throughout Northern California and the Central Valley.

SHARE Share Pregnancy and Infant Loss Support, Inc
http://www.nationalshare.org/ 
The mission of Share Pregnancy and Infant Loss Support, Inc. is to serve those whose lives are touched by the tragic death of a baby through early pregnancy loss, stillbirth, or in the first few months of life.

A christian site for baby loss:
http://www.sarahs-laughter.com/

Glow In The Woods
http://www.glowinthewoods.com/ 
This website deals with all kinds of baby loss.  There is also lots of helpful advice for things you may have to deal with depending on the stage of loss like stopping lactation, planing a funeral, and how to help others going through a loss.

BOOKS
Picture Book: “We Were Gonna Have A Baby, But We Have An Angel Instead”
http://www.amazon.com/Were-Gonna-Have-Angel-Instead/dp/0972424113/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1315324134&sr=8-1

Book: Empty Cradle, Broken Heart
http://www.amazon.com/Empty-Cradle-Broken-Revised-Edition/dp/1555913024 
The heartache of miscarriage, stillbirth, or infant death affects thousands of U.S. families every year. Empty Cradle, Broken Heart offers reassurance to parents who struggle with anger, guilt, and despair after such tragedy. Deborah Davis encourages grieving and makes suggestions for coping. This book strives to cover many different kinds of loss, including information on issues such as the death of one or more babies from a multiple birth, pregnancy interruption, and the questioning of aggressive medical intervention. There is also a special chapter for fathers as well as a chapter on “protective parenting” to help anxious parents enjoy their precious living children. Doctors, nurses, relatives, friends, and other support persons can gain special insight. Most importantly, parents facing the death of a baby will find necessary support in this gentle guide. If reading this book moves you to cry, try to accept this reaction. Your tears merge with those of other grieving parents.

A purpose of this book is to let bereaved parents know that they are not alone in their grief. With factual information and the words and insights of other bereaved parents, you can establish realistic expectations for your grief. Empty Cradle, Broken Heart is meant to help you through these difficult experiences by giving you things to think about, providing suggestions for coping and encouraging you to do what you need to survive your baby’s death. Whether your baby dies recently or long ago, this information can be useful to you.

Book: “An Exact Replica of a Figment of My Imagination: A Memoir”
http://www.amazon.com/Exact-Replica-Figment-My-Imagination/dp/B004WB19VC/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1315324059&sr=8-1

Placenta Encapsulation – Wendy Diaz, PBi™ PES
naturallybirthing@cox.net
Her encapsulation services are free for bereaving mothers.  Wendy will also add herbs to the capsules that help dry up the milk supply.

Book: About What Was Lost: 20 Writers About Miscarriage, Healing, and Hope
http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/427371.About_What_Was_Lost

ONLINE GROUPS
Faces of Loss Faces of Hope
https://www.facebook.com/pages/Faces-Of-Loss-Faces-Of-Hope/128929057151139

Miscarriage & Pregnancy Loss
https://www.facebook.com/miscarriage

Angel Baby – Miscarriage and loss
https://www.facebook.com/pages/Angel-Baby-Miscarriage-and-loss/120451244647218

A Day in the Life of… SAHM + 17 Month Old

A Day in the Life Of: SAHM & The 17 Month Old

Life has been a crazy roller coaster for our entire family since pretty much the week my son was born last March 2012, he arrived over three weeks later than we expected and we needed to be moved out of our apartment 8 days later. Since that move we have moved five (!!!!) more times but have currently been situated in our present (and hopefully permanent) town for a month now. In that month we have gotten down a pretty good routine, one that feels that it will stick around for a while, so I thought I would share what a typical day looks like for us.

8:00-9:00AM Wake Up!

T nurses throughout the entire night and is a very light sleeper. In the early morning hours he nurses the most but rolls around and keeps his eyes closed. He is not ready to start the day until 8 or 9, sometimes later. He will open his eyes and smile at me or stick out his tongue and laugh and our day has officially begun!

We get out of bed and head to the bathroom. T gets his pajama pants and crazy full nighttime diaper taken off and sits on his potty. I wash my face, brush my teeth, and get some light makeup on. Thresh sits on the counter & splashes his feet in the sink and plays with his toothbrush and makeup brushes I have set aside just for him. He helps brush my hair and sometimes throws a million Q-tips all over the bathroom floor.

a look of sheer joy for finding the roll of TP that is usually out of his reach, great for using the toilet and brushing my teeth!

a look of sheer joy for finding the roll of TP that is usually out of his reach, great for allowing me to use the toilet and brushing my teeth!

Next, we pick out his clothes for the day, put a fresh new diaper on, and then I dress him.

9:30AM Breakfast

T gets cut up fruit from the farmer’s market and then either some leftovers from the previous night’s dinner, scrambled egg, pancake, French toast, beans, bread with almond butter, or a homemade muffin of some sort. I like to give a lot of choices and switch things up but everything is very basic and whole food.

a sample of T's placemat: blueberries, strawberries, grapes, black beans & corn, chickpeas, tomatoes, & yellow carrots.

a sample of T’s plate: blueberries, strawberries, grapes, black beans & corn, chickpeas, tomatoes, & yellow carrots with a side of water 🙂 Green Sprouts Placemat

While he is busy eating I make my coffee and get dressed as fast as possible. I don’t know what it is about getting dressed but it is a sure fire way to make T hold on to my leg and scream or whine or just need something from me right then while I have no pants on or something equally as inconvenient.

There is usually a few books requested and read throughout the morning too, cannot forget the books. Just once is never ok; “more” is the most used sign in our house by far.

morning reads.

morning reads.

10:00AM Head Out

Each day’s morning activity is a little bit different but we are usually always out of the house around this time.

Monday: Rotates

Tuesday: Age Related Class at Parent’s Place

Wednesday: Tots in Motion

Thursday: Story time at our local library

Friday: Art & Food Class

Mondays (& sometimes Wednesdays) we rotate with different things around town. Sometimes we will bike to the mall if I need to pick something, it is outdoors and T loves running around and playing by the fountain and doing the stairs. We also walk or bike to various beaches and playgrounds.

our bike riding set up - walking is easier but our bike allows us to cover more distance! (this was just a test ride, I always wear a helmet & do not bike in dresses typically haha)

our bike riding set up – walking is easier but our bike allows us to cover more distance! (this was just a test ride, I always wear a helmet & do not bike in dresses typically haha)

exploring at the beach this day.

exploring at the beach this day.

12:00PM Errands

Since we are out and about I will make a quick stop anywhere I might need like the post office or market, return library books, pop into the children’s consignment store to see if they have any “new” goods, etc. T usually wants to walk some of the way home and we stop to enjoy many plants and dogs and birds a long the way.

stopping at the park on the way home & taking some selfless :)

stopping at the park on the way home & taking some selfies (:

1:00PM Lunch & Play

We are home and I assemble T some more food, he has had some sort of snack while we were out and about but now hopefully he will eat some more and fill himself up a bit before nap time. Dinner leftovers, bean salad, roasted veggies, quinoa, lentils, more fruit, olives, cheese, and hummus make appearances often.

lunch today: blueberries, leftover chicken quinoa, and more black beans & corn

lunch today: blueberries, leftover chicken quinoa, and more black beans & corn

We read more books and sometimes play outside and if T is particularly engaged in his toys/play room I try to prep anything I can for dinner that night.

some lunch time play

some lunch time play

2:00 PM Naptime

There is usually a semi meltdown or at least some clingy-ness and/or whining around this time so we head to the bedroom for a new diaper, close the blinds, put on the white noise and lay down together to nurse to sleep.

Once T is sleeping I sneak out and do a quick clean up of the place, throw in some laundry or finish what dinner prep I was doing earlier, make a snack for myself, and work on the computer.

T usually wakes around 3PM and if I catch him quickly enough can nurse him back down for another half hour or hour. Sometimes I lay with him and read or work on my phone.

4:00PM Afternoon Adventures

T is awake and ready to party! I offer him more food when he wakes up and he will usually eat quite a bit. Then we read lots of books, play in his teepee and playroom and pretty quickly it is time to head outside.

awake & enjoying his playroom, searching for the perfect read

awake & enjoying his playroom, searching for the perfect read

On Mondays we walk down to the farmer’s market and finish our shopping for the week and Tuesdays we walk to pick up our CSA seafood delivery. We play with the neighbor’s dog; play with balls in the street, go on wagon rides, walk through the forest near our house, dig in the dirt in the backyard, and find other things to explore in our neighborhood.

off to pick up our CSA Fish share on a Tuesday afternoon

off to pick up our CSA Fish share on a Tuesday afternoon

6:00PM Dinner Prep

It is hard getting T back inside but usually I manage somehow and enlist his help in starting dinner. He hangs out in his learning tower throwing anything and everything onto the ground, plays in the sink, bangs together some dishes, samples whatever I am putting together, and the like. Sometimes he takes all of the garbage bags out from under the sink, all of the mason jar lids out of the drawer, bangs measuring cups together, empties the pantry, stacks muffin liners, and other various kitchen shenanigans. He gets frustrated easily during this time and wants my full attention and I usually don’t get very far into my cooking.

using the learning tower to help wash some dishes

using the learning tower to help wash some dishes

6:30PM Daddy is home!

My husband is usually home by 6:30 and is greeted by a squealing T who immediately runs outside to greet him and to partake in one of his favorite activities, playing in the car (we only have the one car my husband takes to work every day). He climbs in and pushes a million buttons, plays music, etc. etc. etc. while I finish up dinner, yes!

dinner prep: note all the different bowls, etc. I do a little bit at a time throughout the day, this was right before it was going into the pan. Pictured is the chicken fried quinoa from a couple of nights ago.

dinner prep: note all the different bowls, etc. I do a little bit at a time throughout the day, this was right before it was going into the pan. Pictured is the chicken fried quinoa from a couple of nights ago.

7:00PM Eat, Clean, Play

We eat together while T tries to convince us to read books or take him outside and we try to coerce him into having a couple more bites. I clean the kitchen and my husband takes over playtime. They wrestle, read books, and play outside. I am exhausted at this point; there is almost always wine with my kitchen cleaning.

8:30PM Wind Down

There is usually some eye rubbing or yawning, but T fights his sleepy urges to the death. We take the opportunity to put on a nighttime diaper, pajamas, and turn all of the lights down low. T is not loving baths these days so we have been skipping them and every so often do a quick sink bath, he goes back and forth between bath loving and bath hating. I need to get some new bath toys, bath books, and glow sticks – I have heard glow sticks will turn the most avid toddler bath haters around! We all stay in our bedroom and read books, play around in bed, snuggle, laugh, and just marvel at how much personality this small human that is part of our family has.

9:00/9:30PM Lights Out

T usually isn’t ready to call it a night until about 9:00 or 9:30. We turn off the final light and lay down to nurse to sleep. Sometimes it’s easy, and sometimes he gets up at least 43 more times before he finally drifts off. I have thrown all expectations out the window and never “plan” anything for after bedtime. T is so unpredictable and half the time I fall asleep before or when he does. If I do happen to stay awake, I sneak off and eat some cookies or chocolate or drink more wine and work on the computer or read or fold laundry.

It is a simple life, but it is a great one.

What does your routine look like with your little one(s)? Do you find yourself taking it slower at different ages? I would love to hear what everyone does, we are always looking for new things to keep ourselves busy!

Hello, SPB families!!

A day in the life of a family of six…have you ever wondered how all the moving parts work?

Cassandra, our guest blogger, was so excited to hear that we were going to expand our platform because she is a new mama of just over a year.  She remembers being a first-time mama in the social media internet age, devouring all the information related to pregnancy and birth.  Everything else was just a distraction to her.  So here we are, with more information for you when you are ready to explore life beyond the Birth-Day.

We are two working-from-home parents with four children.  As of today, our children are 8, 5, 3 and 1 year(s) old.  I homeschool, teach Bradley Method® classes, blog and offer 24/7 support to our Bradley™ families.  Bruss works at his asset management company from a home office and co-teaches almost every Bradley Method® class with me.  We are definitely co-parents in our family’s journey.

For future reference…here are the names I use out on the internet for our children: Puma (8), Night Owl (5), Charger (3), and Otter (1).  In real life, their initials form the acronym BABY…a happy coincidence since babies and their births are turning out to be a passion of mine.

We credit a lot of the choices we have made as parents to our time as students of The Bradley Method®.  We took the classes with our first two children.  We learned about how to have a healthy, low-risk pregnancy.  We learned strategies to have an epidural-free natural labor.  We learned about breastfeeding and how it is an extension of seeking out the natural processes.  We also heard about co-sleeping, babywearing, and circumcision.  The information that was shared by our teachers opened our eyes to choices we hadn’t really considered yet – we were so focused on the birth of our baby.

After we had our first child, we wanted to keep following our instincts.  It didn’t make sense to put her in the bedroom down the hall when all we wanted to do was hold her and marvel at this miracle of life that we had worked so hard to bring into the world.  Although the thought of co-sleeping creeped us out when we first heard about it in class, once she was born, there was no other way.  Thus the start of our family bed.

I struggled to breastfeed Puma, so much so that I made Bruss take all the formula samples out of the house.  Now I have learned that “No pain, no gain” does not apply to breastfeeding.  I have also evolved from thinking I was only ever going to breastfeed a child until they were a year old.  Puma and I were not ready to stop nursing when she hit her first birthday.  That breastfeeding relationship continued until she self-weaned at 22 months.  I am currently nursing Charger and Otter.  There will definitely by some posts dedicated to extended breastfeeding as time allows.

I knew that I wanted Puma to be a whole, emotionally intact adult, so I chose to operate from a place of love, not domination.  I wanted to honor and respect her as a human being, even if she did not have words yet and she did not look like an adult.  Attachment parenting and babywearing have been our choices to reach that goal.  These days, I strive to remember her as a tiny infant who just wants to be loved: now she is a very independent 8-year old who gives me attitude and pushes my “crazy” button just because she thinks it’s funny.

We did not really address circumcision until our second pregnancy.  Since we had a girl first, we figured the odds were that we better do better homework this time.  Although it’s common in the US, we do not have any religious or cultural beliefs that teach circumcision as a precondition to belong to the community.  I was not crazy about cutting a child a few days after they were born, but i also figured since I was not the father who was going to be different, that choice should be up to Bruss.  We decided to have him watch a circumcision video on nocirc.org.  He didn’t even last 10 seconds.  So there we are – it was not a choice for our family.  The more I learn about it, the more grateful I am for our choice.  I won’t write any more about that because there are enough impassioned voices out there…and I have the belief that our boys private parts are just that – private.  If they want to blog about it when they are older, that is up to them.

As parents, we continue to use the communication skills we learned in class.  We make every effort to honor each other when we speak to each other and our children.  We have also used the informed consent questions when our children have had hospital stays.  If it fits as the site evolves, we may share those experiences with you, too.

Here are some of the things she and I will be writing about in future posts:

  • Breastfeeding toddlers
  • Potty training
  • Elimination communication
  • The family bed
  • Babywearing
  • Gentle parenting
  • Homeschooling
  • Home gardening
  • Organic living
  • Siblings
  • Family dynamics

We invite you to share other ideas with us.  What do you wonder about when you think about growing your family?