“Remember that being a good mom is ultimately about the relationship you develop with your children and the important life skills, not about how your life looks on the outside to others.”
From the book Motherhood Realized ~ powerofmoms.com/motherhood-realized
Many of us find the age of the internet a blessing and a curse. Never has been so much information been readily available and accessible. What we do with all that information depends on our personality: do we obsess over it, comparing notes, trying to get it right; or do we let it go in and out without attaching significance to it; or maybe something in between….and maybe it all depends on the day and the topic. Regardless, there is a lot for parents to read and consider as they grow their families.
Today’s quote really resonates with me for a couple of reasons. First, I love the idea of working backwards in our relationship…what kind of relationship do we want with our children when they are adults? And which life skills do we want them to have? When they leave the house, as they build healthy relationships…what does that picture look like?
Once we have an idea of the end-game, it helps to make the daily minutiae more meaningful. Maybe it helps us stick to our plan to have them help even though it takes longer to get things done (anyone else with me on that one??) It certainly helps me guard my tongue – we know that words can never be taken back. Bearing in mind the adult relationship I want with my children helps me (most days!) to speak gently.
The other reason this resonates with me is because it is reflexive. It’s easy to compare ourselves to others…what are they doing? Is it right – wrong – hippy hoodoo – who cares? Remembering that I am only building a relationship with my children and that there is no one else to impress keeps me from playing the “better than” game.
I have to be the best mom for my children…not the best mom in the world. Just mine call me mother, and keeping that at the forefront releases me to love and accept other mothers where they are, rather than comparing them and asking if they are a better or worse mom than I am.