“There’s no way to be a perfect mother and a million ways to be a good one.”
Celebrating the day with our four children yesterday was amazing. We are so blessed to have them in our lives. I often marvel that I was chosen to be their mother – they are each of them teaching me lessons that I need to learn. I thank God that he trusted me to grow them and nurture their souls, and pray that I don’t break them as I learn the lessons He sent with them!
I am also painfully aware that Mother’s Day might be hell on earth for other women: the women who have angels waiting in heaven from miscarriage, stillbirth or child loss, to those who’s hearts are heavy as they struggle with infertility, or because they never conceived and their childbearing days are over. Maybe this is the first year without their own mother who has been called on to the next journey, or it is one of the successive years after the loss of their own mother that still carries a dull ache.
For at least a month leading up to the event and for the whole second Sunday of May, every retailer, card company and television commercial is grinding salt into their wound. I propose that it is up to us to mother these women – we can be the ones to love them, cherish them, listen to them, cry with them – just be with them without offering platitudes and trite words. Make an effort and plan time with them – be available if they want to talk or share memories. Here are some places I go for word reminders when I am going to be “holding space” with them:
So how does the quote above tie-in? I am reminded once again that I have an incredible gift: four healthy, vibrant children that are very much alive. I owe it to them to learn what makes them “tick”. I owe it to them to put away my screens and literally face-time with them beyond doing our school-work together. Hug them every day. Look them in the eye every day. Tell them they are loved, cherished and show them that they are respected every day. Ask them what they want to do this week and make sure that the reasonable requests get planned and get done. The unreasonable requests present opportunities for creative play – something we can definitely do more. Since I am so list-driven, I lose sight of creative play – time to bring it back!
I will never be perfect – I can however, do my very best to be good to them and do good for them all throughout their day.