Daily Archives: April 14, 2014

Monday Musing: Within These Walls


Image credit https://www.facebook.com/childrensmovementFL

We have been under a lot of pressure at The Bowman House lately…the same things that probably add stress in your life…lots to do and not enough time, planning our budget, growing pains, work commitments…both Bruss and I noticed that the volume has been going up again.  We both value a gentle, peaceful house, and we have been making a pointed effort to be gentle parents despite the pressures we feel.

We had a presentation on babywearing for our Peas & Pods group last Friday.  One of the benefits of babywearing is that you learn to read your Sweet Pea – you learn their cues, their body language, their facial expressions.  Conversely, your Sweet Pea learns to read you.

As I have been close to losing my cool lately, Otter (our 2yo) has been the first to say, “Mommy, take a deep breath.”  The first time she said it, it actually took my breath away and I asked Daddy Bruss if he had heard the same thing I had heard.  She had seen my face and could tell I was stressed.

The other thing that she does is help me to make a joke.  Before I lost my cool, one of my tricks is to ask the kiddos, “You don’t want to see my angry face, right?” To which they answer, “Yes we do, Mommy!”  Then, I proceed to make an angry, growly face with some sound effects and it diffuses the tension as we all burst into peals of laughter as everyone else starts making angry faces and growling.  Once we are in a good space, we can talk about what was happening and solve problems with Peaceful Mama.

Again, over the weekend, Otter was pre-empting me…she’d ask me, “Mommy, are you angry?”, or she would ask me to make my angry face, just as she could see that I was hitting a breaking point.

I think one of of my favorite things about attachment parenting is the give and take as your children come into their own.  As much as I love to teach and nurture our children, it is so amazing to learn from and be nurtured by them.

We can directly influence the tone within the walls of our home.  We can choose do the mental and emotional work it takes to be in a good space so that we can be gentle in spite of the pressures.  So while attachment parenting certainly takes more time than the cause-and-effect approach, it is proving to be SO SO worth it.