Monthly Archives: January 2014

NEW Monday Mantra

This morning was a great opportunity to go back to my management training days.  Puma was acting out over a simple request.  It was pretty out of character for her to go this far over the deep end over a 15-minute piano practice session.

So I got up, removed myself from the situation by saying, “I can see you are upset.  I am going to allow you some space while I go get ready,” and went on to get ready for my day.  (Since my coaching sessions with Blue, I am doing so much better at breathing and allowing for space – even Coach Bruss has noticed!! Yeah!)

As I was getting ready, I asked myself the question, “What is REALLY going on here?”  Last week, she had been ready and willing to start practicing piano again.  Now today she is telling me she wants to quit.

I had the AHA! moment – she is excited about a new skill.  She just learned how to do “the cups” song today and she is stoked!!  She wants to devote her time today to perfecting that skill, not be bothered with the trivial and mundane.  Duh.

Therein lies the beauty of homeschooling.  Does she really need to do her school work today?  Really?  Or is that just me, wanting to complete my checklists?

So I approached her, and asked her for a minute of her time.  I recognized her excitement, offered her a solution, and now we are back on track for a peaceful day.  It is SO simple if I can remember to go back to stillness, breath and reflection.

What helps you get to that place of slowing down and finding a solution?  I would love to read what helps you so that I can keep adding to my mantra wall.

Traditions: Intention Tree

Traditions – the most beautiful thing about that word to me, is that there is always an opportunity to make new ones.  As we grow our family, we are finding a rhythm and developing new ones, dropping the ones that do not serve us into a healthy, whole lifestyle.  The one we did on New Year’s Day is definitely a keeper and one we will do again – maybe even do a mid-year version to energize us until the next New Year.

A mama from a facebook group I belong to shared the project I am sharing with you today.  I was instantly drawn to it because it would allow us as a family to state intentions, and then display them symbolically to remind us without all the added pressure of time, “resolution” and ultimately, failure when the motivational firecracker burnt out.

The idea is to write down your intentions, hopes, dreams, aspirations, blessings…what ever you are striving for in this journey.  Then tie them to a tree, or whatever else is in your space that would serve as a visual reminder that these have been stated and released to the Universe in all it’s wisdom.  If you are spiritual, you can liken this to a Prayer Flag, sending good intentions, blessings and sweet wishes into the surrounding area.  Yes, please!  We can definitely benefit from that positive energy all through the year.

Coach Bruss, who rarely gets jazzed about actually writing in his own hand, really got into this. He wrote down more intentions than anyone else. We had the kiddos write/draw, even my parents wrote intentions. My sibs and I also shared wishes when we had our sibling breakfast over Christmas week…I wrote those down and put them up, too. This little tree is just bursting with hope for 2014.

It has such a neat metaphor – as the tree grows, so will the hopes and dreams and wishes that are tied on to the branches.  Maybe they will be blown off and carried up and away into the wind; maybe they will fall of and become part of the cycle that feeds the tree.  The beautiful thing is that we could all participate as a family.  Now we see and enjoy our decorated tree every day, and we have gentle reminders of the greatness that we are striving for.

Supplies - Puma stamped our papers and made them prettier.

Supplies – Puma stamped our papers and made them prettier.

All the kiddos came up with at least two - at the very least writing their name.  Puma wrote her own, Night Owl and Charger dictated and added their names, Otter had to "do it myself".  Drawings were welcome, too.

All the kiddos came up with at least two – at the very least writing their name. Puma wrote her own, Night Owl and Charger dictated and added their names, Otter had to “do it myself”. Drawings were welcome, too.

Otter's work - she was glowing with pride at her own hand :)

Otter’s work – she was glowing with pride at her own hand 🙂

Lots of wishes

Lots of wishes – this is my biggest intention.  I like Peaceful Mama so much!  Forgive me as I take time to sleep this season – we are slowly ramping up to regular posting because I like Peaceful Mama a lot more than I like being a social media junkie 🙂

If you have scrolled this far down, now you know what I am dreaming of this year <3

If you have scrolled this far down, now you know what I am dreaming of this year <3

Sweet Pea Family tying on our intentions with Grandpa's help, too!

Sweet Pea Family tying on our intentions with Grandpa’s help, too!

My intentions waiting their turn.

My intentions waiting their turn.

Our 2014 Intention Tree - visible from all the front windows and as we leave/enter the driveway

Our 2014 Intention Tree – visible from all the front windows and as we leave/enter the driveway – so much love is vested into this tree <3

Happy New Year to all of our readers in 2014.  We would love to hear what you are doing and dreaming of as the year unfolds!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Tuesday Tips: Grow Slow

(image from https://www.facebook.com/naturalpregnancyandbeyond)

Have you ever taken the time to think about that phrase, “grow slow”?  Here are some little Tuesday Tips based on the idea that each child will grow to their best ability if we facilitate their environment.

Backstory:
As a homeschool parent, I hold on to the mantra that I homeschool so that I can teach my child to their ability.  To some folks, that means that their child’s ability is way ahead to what they would be learning in public school, so their children can move at an accelerated pace.

That is not the case in our family.  I happily plug along at grade school level work, we finish up in about three hours, and then our kiddos get to play for the rest of the day.  When I am not writing or attending to our childbirth classes and students, I get involved.  They are a lot of fun to hang out with!

Especially in Night Owl’s case (he is six).  There is a phrase I love to think about that makes me laugh and makes me slow down when I school with him: “nailing jello to a tree”.  It captures him perfectly if you try to get him to sit still, and put a piece of paper and a pencil in front of him.  Oh my gosh – it is torture for both of us.  So I honor his “jello-ness” and we do lots of other things besides use pencil and paper.

(He is so tactile, so interested in building, moving and making noise.  I am sure that if he had gone to any school they would have sent him back with a note to “do something”.)

How is this for brutal honesty: It kills me that I have friends with four- and five-year olds that are reading and writing.  Seriously, honestly, with no help or coaching from the parent (of course, they taught them in the first place), reading above level and writing with little to no help with spelling.  I smile and say, “how wonderful,” because really, it is!  Meanwhile, inside I am a little torqued that there is something wrong with me that I can’t produce this in our children.

Then I go back to the stillness.  The knowledge that by the time they are all adults, they will all be reading and writing.  They will all have a basic knowledge of sums.  And in all likelihood, no one is going to ask them when they learned to do these things – they will just do them as well as one another, and they will never care at what age they learned to do those things.

I also take a tally of all the things that Night Owl does do well.  He is a fascinated with building, creating and recreating his buildings and original designs based on ideas he sees around him.  He can look at a group of items and come up with the sum without counting them out loud or on his fingers.  He is learning his math facts like a fiend.

BLOG grow slow

Night Owl gave himself a “thumbs up” for his penmanship today

And then we have days like this, when I look over at his spelling words, as he copies the words that I wrote.  It dawns on me that his writing is looking incredible (his are the red letters).  He also read a whole sentence by himself, and he didn’t get frustrated with himself or with me – he actually pulled out his primer and asked me to read with him!

So, yes, it is okay if your child is not meeting all the developmental milestones all at the same time with their peers.  It is so important to look at the big picture: are they well? Eating? Sleeping? Interested in life?  Is there something that piques their interest that they are good at?  If not, have you helped them explore and find something that will motivate them to want learn more?

Some ideas to facilitate learning if you want to “grow slow” with your young scholar:

  • Provide them with lots of books with your home library and/or trips to your local library.
  • Pay attention to the kinds of books they gravitate.
  • Focus on that theme for crafts, outings, puzzles.
  • Provide a variety of media for them to explore: crayons, pencils, markers, paints, white board markers, white boards, different textures of paper, scissors, glue.
  • Count everything: steps, items at the grocery store, how long you are stopped at a stop sign or light, as well as numbers on a number line.  You can find free printables in just about any theme these days.
  • Gather small items you can sort and count from around the house: loose change, lost buttons, bottle caps, jug caps, rocks, leaves, beads, anything that can fit into a jar so you can store it and put it away for another day of playing.

There are so many more ways to learn to read, write and do math than the conventional way.  If you have a non-conventional learner like I do, know that *it is okay* for them to grow slow, and grow at their own pace.  Teaching without tears is so much more peaceful than adding your own pressure to their frustration and confusion.  The days when you have big break throughs are so worth it!

 

New Year Resolutions: Mama Style

Last week I wrote all about New Year Resolutions past and this week I thought I would write a follow up of what I am actually hoping for in 2014.

My husband’s resolutions seemed to take the form of one personal desire, Presence, and then one work/career desire. Under the over arching desire he brainstormed applicable ways to work towards it. For me, I do small interactive advertising, content management, and social media projects from home for money but I consider my “job” to be raising our 22 month old. Naturally my personal resolutions affect my parenting, the same as my husband’s personal actions affect his parenting and our family, but there were some things that I felt I would like to specifically address in my role as mama for 2014.

Potty

We have been practicing Elimination Communication with T part time for a very long while but this year I want 100% of pees & poos to be in the potty. We are armed with many pairs of underwear and we practice a lot at home but I can’t help but feel we are SO far away, T is not verbal and it is almost impossible to get him to tell us *before* he goes. He also wakes what feels like 8-12 times a night and I have no idea what that means for us when it comes to potty-ing and diapers at night time.  I really want him to be exclusively in underwear this year, but again, I pretty much have no expectations left when it comes to his parenting thing and also know that small children simply can not be forced to do anything. So, one can only hope.

Sleep

I feel like we have absolutely exhausted (no pun intended) this avenue. Co-sleeping, night time nursing, night weaning, his own bed next to ours, his own bed in his own room, talking about it, Daddy comforting, Mama comforting, etc. etc. and the longest he sleeps is cuddled up with me for only 2 hours (or less) at a time. This has to change this year. This is the year that we all sleep more!!!!! We have some travel coming up in January and February and then T’s second birthday is in March. After that it is Mission: Sleep. We are going tackle more sleep, even if it means T’s habits can not or do not change but my husband and I switch off nights on duty so we can at least get a few nights of uninterrupted sleep a week, more sleep is a priority for everyone this year.

Environment & Being The Example

What do I want my household environment to be like, feel like? What kind of energy do I want in my home? I like to ask myself this a few times a day to keep it in the front of my mind. My goal this is year is to practice more of what I envision. I can not expect T to grow up being calm, patient, willing to communicate and express himself if I am not. I can not expect him to be peaceful and loving in all of our interactions if I am not. If what I see for us is a slow paced, loving home in which we share many laughs than I am going to slow down, relax and worry less about things that do not need my immediate attention. If my hopes for T are to be polite than I am going to focus more on always using a polite tone with him and my husband, and so on.

I feel like there is so much more I want to get out of my brain and onto paper, so to speak, so I can assess and reflect on it, but I think the above seems to be a reasonable amount to take on right now without overwhelming myself.  I look forward to updating everyone on our progress over the next few months!

What goals do you have in your professional, home, or mama life this year? Anything daunting that you are looking forward to finally addressing when it comes to your Sweet Peas?