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Thoughtful Thursday: Mirrors

I have been really struggling the last few weeks.  I have less patience than I ever have for people who do not think about their words and actions, and how they affect our children.

Current Pet Peeves:

  • Projecting insecurities on the children.
  • Treating them as second-class citizens simply because they are smaller.
  • No thought that to children, callousness and forgetting or changing commitments are hurtful.
  • Did they completely forget their own childhood?

I keep telling myself to let it go.  To breathe.  To pray.  I went on a lot of walks while we had guests for the holidays.  Yet, I know I am still holding on to “it”, because I am irritable and not traveling in as much gentleness as I know I am capable of.

My “light bulb” moment happened this morning.  One of Puma’s spelling words is “mirror”.  Watching her spell it, I caught my breath.  Have you heard the saying that the things that bother you the most are probably things that you are doing or that your don’t like about yourself?   That word made me stop and realize that I needed to be introspective, and take a hard look in the mirror.

So I wondered:  Am I so short-tempered with people who can’t treat our children with kindness because I am still struggling with living that every day?  Am I unforgiving because I need to forgive?  Is this so hard for me to see because it is an “in-your-face” reminder of how hurtful I am when I am not gentle, kind, patient or compassionate with them?

Hmmm.   YES.

I can see now that I really do need to let it go.  I am not going to change anything with anger or forced smiles.  I am not going to teach our children anything if I am sullen and angry around the behavior that bothers me.  If I want them to be loving and compassionate, I must also be loving and compassionate, even when it is difficult.  The instant I feel offended for them, I need to forgive, and be compassionate for the pain the people around us are walking around with.

Most of all, I need to remember how much I dislike it when our children are belittled, teased, or talked to with impatience.  That our words are precious.  It is such a lesson for me.  I want to remain present and walk with love.  Always – no matter what else is going on in our day.

It looks like my answer was in the mirror.

Can you help me?  Do you have any tips, mantras, or pointers to let go and forgive others?